All I'm Saying
by Sekah
Summary: It started out as a fight about Yukina. Somehow, though, a normal day at the Dark Tournament was overturned. Kuwabara/Yusuke, BL, rated T for cursing.


AN: My first fanfiction! Probably trite, but bear with me. This was a gift fic for Kupo-chan, of her favorite pairing, KuwabaraxYusuke.

Yu Yu Hakusho is Ⓒ Yoshihiro Togashi, and all characters are borrowed from him.

--

"Man, all I'm saying is that Ai's prettier than Yukina'd ever be."

"NO SHE ISN'T! IIJIMA'S GOT NOTHING ON MY YUKI-CHAN! NOTHING!"

The fight, like all their fights, started over something inane. Yusuke was browsing one of his porno mags, and expounded on the cover girl, Iijima Ai. Again, like all their fights (and all conversations to be had with Kuwabara), the topic somehow turned to Yukina.

"FINE, YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY'RE BOTH SEXY, SO WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP."

"DON'T COMPARE YUKINA TO SOME PORN GIRL, DAMMIT!

"I'M SAYING THEY'RE BOTH EQUALLY SEXY!"

"AND DON'T YOU EVER LOOK AT HER AGAIN, WITH YOUR UGLY EYES!"

"I'LL LOOK AT WHOEVER I WANT TO!"

Their childish ranting quickly escalated into sharp blows. Yusuke won, and after only a single table was overturned they collapsed into different corners of the room. Yusuke, always the more forward of the two, pulled a bottle of vodka out from under the bed and began nursing his foul mood on its lip. He thought about it for awhile, then he tossed a Kira six-pack over to his friend and teammate, Kazuma Kuwabara. Soon they were chugging away at their respective drinks, courtesy of the hotel's bar (which was none the wiser).

"Well man… I guess Iijima's… KINDA hot…" Kuwabara murmured, well into his third beer.

"Yah, you know? Her eyes… I mean, her breasts are like…" Yusuke was having trouble with his sentences now that he'd finished enough 65 proof to give a horse alcohol poisoning. It takes a lot to get the blood of Atsuko drunk, but even Yusuke had a limit, and after all, this was his second bottle.

He opened the window and perched on the ledge, looking down at the entrance a few stories below. A cigarette was fished from his jeans' pocket, lit, and pressed into his mouth. Kuwabara began to sing a drunken song about the moon. Yukina's name was occasionally thrown in, just to hear it said.

Yusuke spent some time thinking up clever curses to describe Kuwabara's singing, vocalizing one every time it seemed just right. As the second bottle of vodka reached its end, and his liver was sloshing happily away inside of him, Yusuke stopped laughing and walked over to his bed. He picked another bottle, and then settled back into the window jam. As the alcohol built up in his system, the mood he'd been under welled up, increased, instead of decreased, by the drinking.

"I wonder…" He thought to himself. "I wonder what heaven's like." He glanced at his cigarette. "…Hell. What hell's like." The replacement sake bottle tapped against the wall. "I mean, I know Koenma, so I s'pose I'm going to heaven. We're all going to hell, though, for all I care. It'll be a long time from now, anyway. And I still don't know what that Toguro bastard wants—"

Normally, Yusuke didn't drink enough to get himself drunk. Normally, Yusuke wasn't this depressed. Normally, many things were true that weren't true for Yusuke at that moment. His thoughts turned obsessively, and he had to stop every few sentences to picture himself winning the Ankoku Bujutsukai in a blaze of glory. He added Keiko in a skimpy outfit to his fantasy, and Kuwabara stunned by the side of the ring, and Toguro on his knees apologizing... Koto in a bikini, why not… Somehow, though, this musing always turned into a picture of heaven, and of losing, and of his friends' and mother's blood.

Kuwabara, who had lapsed from his hideous singing, looked over at his friend. "He looks young," he thought, "holdin' that sake bottle and lettin' the cigarette dangle." No, he decided, not young: juvenile and immature, with his glaring eyes and his chin jutted in bad temper.

"Hey, 'Meshi, don't be lookin' all down and all." Kuwabara had pawed another six-pack from under the bed, and, as always, he wasn't one to hold his liquor. "Comeon, you sucky… ass…bastard! I bet you're not man enough to fight!" The last sentence was actually pretty coherent, and revealed that under his goofy, sodden exterior he was only half as drunk as he was pretending to be.

"Shut your face!" Yuusuke gladly rose from his thoughts and entered a round of tipsy name-calling with his best friend, putting out his cigarette and moving away from the window.

"No, you shut YOUR face!"

"I'll take my fist and…"

"You stupid idio'tic…"

"IDIOTIC? Oh, look who's coming with the BIG WORDS now! Too bad you can't PRONOUNCE 'EM!"

Within moments the two were on the floor, tussling. Kuwabara pounced Yuusuke, and pulled him into a wrestling hold. Yuusuke punched him in the face and shouted a muffled insult, before twisting him over and managing a headlock. Kuwabara kicked up and out, connecting with flesh, and then rolled on top of him again. Yuusuke continued the roll, and reached for Kuwabara's collar. What happened next surprised both of them.

It wasn't accidental, exactly. After it was over, he almost felt like he had meant to do it from the beginning. That, however, was after it was over. BEFORE it was over, with his lips glued in a kiss to the slightly chapped ones of Kuwabara, Yuusuke's head was uncomfortably blank. The husky body was stone-like beneath his own. Kuwabara looked up at him with popping black eyes, confused, and a little angry, but also strangely erased. At the same moment, a scowl appeared on both their boyish faces, and they sprang apart, horrified.

"Urameshi, you…"

"EW."

"I mean, you…"

"EW!"

"You really…"

"_EW!_"

The alcohol had frozen in their veins, and it was with great misery that Yuusuke realized he had, to put it in his terms, a boner. Yuusuke stumbled towards Kuwabara, made vague gesticulations, and then suddenly ran out the door, thinking blearily that he had to go find Keiko. Kuwabara was left standing at the altar, brilliantly aflame from his neck to his hair, his mouth slightly opened in awe.

"Urameshi… What?" He said, to the empty air.


End file.
